What I do know is this…..

There are a lot of things I do not know.  I will be the first to admit it.  What I do know is that admitting this is the first step to learning anything.   I have noticed in my life just how much of the Bible I do not know.  I grew up in church, have attended all my life there and tried to read the Bible. In reading it though, I have discovered that what I thought I knew, well, was not what I thought it was.  See, I am trying to do a lesson on Psalms for Sunday school and I am discovering some very disturbing things.  First, I really do not know the Psalms at all.  Not surprising, we were always told it was important to know them but never really studied them.  Second, the Psalms are not warm and fuzzy, as we often like to depict them.  They are complex and oftentimes downright disturbing.  They oftentimes call on God to destroy people or praise those who dash babies heads against rocks.  This is supposed to strengthen my faith?  What kind of person wrote these?!

And then I have to step back and realize that the persons who wrote these are just like me. They are struggling to understand God and why sometimes bad things happen to good people.  They are praising God for His creations and goodness.  And they are working with God to make their faith stronger.  Sometimes there are highs and sometimes there are lows, but all the time there is a movement forward.  

Now does this mean I understand them?  Not at all.  I believe I have avoided the Psalms because I never really heard a reason why I should.  They were always used to prove something about Jesus and God.  They were always spoken with reverence that I just did not feel and therefore felt guilty that I did not feel this.  It was assumed that one really needed to know only certain ones to have a walk with God.  And in all of this there was me trying to do what God wanted me to do and feeling like I never would get there.

So, what I do know is this:  I don’t know everything.  Kind of liberating when one states that, but also kind of intimidating.  Because there are times when people expect me to know a lot, and I just don’t.  In those times I must do what is difficult for me to do:  Forgive myself and allow myself the grace I give others.  And read a couple psalms.  After all, the folks who wrote them were a lot like me.